Rx for Sanity

[furrbear]

Just got off rhe phone w/ Doc Tommy's answering service asking nurse Becky to gimme a call. Starting with the 5:30 call from ICU, the stress/anxiety/panic level is reaching old bad levels. Not scheduled to come in until end of June, but it's buspar/ativan time.

I'm sure this will be taken and used as more cannon fodder for Mr. "He's Crazy He needs to Keep Taking His Meds!". The difference between the two of us: I know what's wrong with me, He still doesn't know he's a prick.

Comments

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Tommy? He's not a prick. I don't know what sort of dick would leap to that conclusion. Do you?

We work very well together on things. Whatever we decide, it will be in addition to current meds. I recognized the panic/anxiety/shock symptoms. We'll agree on a tx and he'll write the Rx. Since you asked, he's an MD. This will be a short-term tx in response to a major life-altering event. Sorry, but it's not what I feel I need MH pros to treat.

What do I think you should be doing differently from what you're doing now to handle the stress?

Rough call, never had a husband of 16 years pass away suddenly before. What to you suggest?

The cannon fodder/prick remark refers to a guy I used to date some in Dallas. About 12 years ago he made the remark which was quickly relayed to me, "Well, he need to keep taking his meds. He's fucking crazy." This was in '99, well before antidepressants became as fashionable as they are today. I suspect he's still trashing me.

[djmadadam.livejournal.com]

The wording of your post confused me. I'm not privy to a lot of the details. Likewise, I'm very behind even in the most recent of things. John, I had no idea you suffered this loss. I'm so terribly sorry.

But, you're right. Who can be prepared for that kind of grief, even with advance preparation? Still, with all your faculties around you, with a history of handling your own stress and you knowing yourself best, you've probably got the skills to make it through this so deploy 'em.

Thinking about a 12-year old date in Dallas is a reel-to-reel of negative self-talk, however. So, turn it off. That'll defeat whatever efforts you're making to struggle through your grief. Surround yourself instead with positive, self-affirming thoughts and people currently in your life who have positive things to say about you.