Coming Soon from The B(r)other™: De Nile Riverboat Cruises

[furrbear]

Just when I think I've heard it all, my b(r)other™ unpacks another whopper of self-delusion.

I used to be BIG: 6'2" 375lb, 44" waist big; so I still have a fair recollection of weight vs waist.

The B(r)other™ is 2 inches taller than me.

After dinner, while I'm in the kitchen cleaning up, his cell phone rings. It's some state rehab person getting vitals for his trip to Austin for some training the first of next month. I'm loading the dishwasher, when he turns loose a whopper of Lethal Comedic proportions:Weight? 335
Had I been drinking anything, I probably would have showered it all over the kitchen in a fit of hysterical laughter. This is a guy who can barely squeeze himself into a pair of 56" waist jeans - and then they look like they're going to explode if he stresses a seam.

So I waited a bit and did what any good little brother would do... I walked over and leaned over the back of his LAY-Z-BOY and whispered soto voce, "Ummm, I think you ought to know... a weight of 335 lbs at your height is a 40 to 42 inch waist not a barely buttonable 56. Unless you're a body builder, but then it would be even less."

He did what he always does when I let him know he has pegged the BullShitometer: Stared at the TV.

BTW, Lethal Comedy is something so outrageous that it might cause the hearer to laugh himself to death. I'm told it requires a license.

Comments

[gullinbursti.livejournal.com]

I'm 6'2" and 375 and there ain't no way I could squeeze my ass into 44" anything. 50" is pushing it. Were you carrying around pecs the size of Nebraska? ;)

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

I'm 5'5" and 335 and there ain't no way I could squeeze my ass into 44" anything. 52" is pushing it.

[ubercub.livejournal.com]

Wooof *adjusts self* ;)

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Phone pole legs; Lots of density. Although I didn't particularly think so, I've been told that I was still pretty solid.

[ubercub.livejournal.com]

Damn...hot!

[colicub.livejournal.com]

I'm about 6'3", a 44" waist, and I have absolutely no idea what I weigh. But last time I checked it was about 300.

[jerrycakes.livejournal.com]

I'm 5'10" and just shy of 300.

I can fit into a 44" jean JUST fine.

*blows raspberry*