So I Write...

[furrbear]

When my David died, I had the benefit of being able to go into shock over the weekend and shelter my feelings for a couple days. Today caught me totally off guard, although as soon as I heard Terry's messages, I knew. I wasn't ready for it, but I knew. If things had been OK, David would have called me himself. Now I'm staggering in both shock and grief.

Both Jims gone, both Davids gone, Mike#1 gone. Michael #2 , Craig, and Bucky are all I have left. The more I need the memories to persist the quicker they seem to become fleeting and fade away from me. So I write, not for you, but for me.

Comments

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

I understand.

[darkphuque.livejournal.com]

I understand.....<<<>>>

[cipherpunk.livejournal.com]

We’re here and we’re listening.

[envirobear.livejournal.com]

John. Oh man.

I get the feeling that you may be feeling some regret from not having opportunity to talk with David before he passed. Don't beat yourself up over that, please...he knew that you were raw from the loss of Dave, and I think he didn't want to burden you further. He knew that he was special to you, and you were special to him. Think well on that, Bubba.

Both Jims, both Davids, and Mike #1 aren't here--but they are still with you and still part of you. Michael #2, Craig, and Bucky are still with you--and you are also surrounded by more people who think the world of you, even if they can't appear at your door to wrap you up in a genuine bearhug on a regular basis.

You have lived through a lot of grief and loss over the past many months, my friend, and you've more than earned the right to express your emotions. Own them. Feel them. Process them in the best ways and at your own pace. And when you're ready, set them in the place you choose to place them. But never feel that you can or should forget them or the people and memory and experiences that those emotions are rooted within.

Let's talk. Very soon.

*BEARHUG*

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Dean.

Much love in return.