Obtuse Much?

[furrbear]

From a popular bear profile site that won't be mentioned, after about a week of these one or two word exchanges:

Him: Wassup

Me: Not much, partnered life is exceedingly ordinary.

Him: oh sorry, i didn't realize you had a partner

Me: :-) Cunningly hid in the 3rd paragraph. Much other info buried within. All yours for the price of reading :-)

Him: okay what is the price

Comments

[barak.livejournal.com]

That reads like he was making an attempt at flirting... but it fell through.

[winstonthriller.livejournal.com]

Perhaps human is not his first language...

[winbear.livejournal.com]

tl;dr

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Funny thing about that... I prefer to think of it as a Short-Attention-Span Culling Tool. He did in fact read:

Me: LOL 'Yours for the price of reading' means all you have to do to get all the other info in the profile is to read it.

Him: "okay reread your profile,and your partner with a great person i like that but you do play around on the down low which is cool i like that,so your vers top or bottom and i have a ave dick 6ins [verbatim]"

[winbear.livejournal.com]

see, from what you posted before, it looked like he just scanned the word "price" and jumped to "how much?"

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Obviously. "I'll admit I may have seen better days... but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail, like a salted peanut." ~Margo Channing, "All About Eve"

I guess I need a SportFucking Disclaimer up near the top. I wonder which figurative phrase to use? A metaphor for mindless unsatisfying sport sex; "The Eclair Diet -- nuthin' but cream-filled empty calories" or analogy, "I've grown to find hook-up sex to be the carnal equivalent of eating at an inexpensive Chinese Buffet -- an hour or two later I'm hungry again -- It's just not very fulfilling."

[colicub.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, any sort of metaphor would be lost on those it's designed to repel. Ironic but sad.

[genxcub.livejournal.com]

Your third paragraph is getting in the way of rough buttsex. Please edit.

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Ummm Hmmmm, I just commented to Tommy I probably need a "SportFucking Disclaimer" somewhere near the top of the profile text.

I suppose the existing paragraph is too subtle for the "YOUR HAWT BEAR! WANT TO FUCK NAO?" crowd:

While meeting up for just sex is OK, I tend to spend more time nurturing relationships with the goal of becoming 'True Friends®'. The kind I can relax around, tell anything, with whom I can let myself be vulnerable, and maybe even share some lovemaking. Friends know the difference between sex, love, and friendship and know how to blend all three into their relationships. My friends tend to be much more of an extended family. Common shared traits include: passionate; intelligent; eclectic interests and tastes; able to think creatively with both big and little heads; low tendency toward drama; strong ability to laugh, often at ourselves. Although this should go without saying... I prefer a man with an average sized penis who treats me with respect to a guy with a large penis who turns out just to be a big dick.

[hwynym.livejournal.com]

I stop responding to the one or two-word answerers.

I'll send an entire paragraph and get back: "OK, kewl", when much more is warranted.

[lordraval.livejournal.com]

Never underestimate the power of dumb..

[strongaxe.livejournal.com]

I would say "If you took the time to actually read my profile, it's mentioned right in there..."

[armandkruger.livejournal.com]

LOL

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

to quote a particular redneck comic, "you can't fix stupid."