Alone in Hell by Yourself

[furrbear]

Along with an enormous 10 hr flood of grief , I've felt like i've been surfing the wave of a panic attack and at any moment, I'll wipe out, go under and drown as I hyperventilate. About 10 AM I pulled the first cord on the 2mg Klonopin life jacket and the 2nd cord about 10:30. At least I now feel like I'm headed towards a calm lagoon. This night was worse then the actual trip to the ICU two months ago.

Comments

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

Oh hon! Hugs! Wish I ws there to help.

{{{{{{{{John}}}}}}}}

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Panic attack from last night seems to have abated. Spent much of the night on the edge, but I just knew how to keep from falling over. 4mg Klonopin split at 10 & 10:30. Knocked me out, just woke 6:30ish PM. In a heavy BZD brain fog for now. Had weird dream. David was holding me as I cried, and I thought I felt tears on my shoulder and kisses on my ear. He didn't say anything though

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

Believe it or not, it felt like you were near.
Along with Dean.
Along with Chris.
Along with David.

I'm blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life.

[danthered.livejournal.com]

Sigh. *HUG* Sorry to read it. Hope things get easier soon.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

oh how I wish there was something we could do for you.

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

I know what you are going through.

Wish I could help, somehow.

((BIG HUGS))

[musicbearmn.livejournal.com]

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you are free to send me messages to vent, etc. Your LJ family is walking with you.

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

I understand.

[mort-83.livejournal.com]

I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

[greatbearmd.livejournal.com]

Peace be with you, along with many friends.

[furrbear.livejournal.com]

The Peace of the Lord be also with you.

Talked to Doc Tommy today. He said I went through something pretty normal and it sounded like I handled it just right. I avoided the panic and anxiety attacks, I let the grieving go on until it ended on its own.

Other good stuff to today with the Best Friend w/ Benefits [it's on Bruizr]